BITCH FEST #3

BITCH FEST #3: People parked in their cars on the side of a busy street who decide to unceremoniously throw their driver's side door wide open into oncoming traffic.

You know what I mean.

You're driving along in the right-hand lane of a busy street - I mean, it's got to be at least SOMEWHAT busy, after all, there is more than one lane going on here. You're rolling along, minding your own driving bidness, when out of the blue you see what looks to be a fairly large object flying at the front of your car.

Giant, angry sewer rat? Misplaced tumbleweed? No, sir. Just some d-brain who decided it was time to give some innocent motorists a little taste of cardiac arrest.

If I'm in my parked car on a busy street, here's what I usually do. I crack my door carefully, wait for traffic to slow (if not totally stop), then I gradually open the door inch by cautious inch, until I can just barely squeeze my side-turned butt out of the car. I do the same when re-entering the vehicle. Stop, stand, look, wait, open/jump-in all at once.

But not everyone follows these simple steps...oh nooooooo. Some a-munchers clearly think they're the only people on the planet, as evidenced by their blatant ignorance of the vehicular death they nearly caused.

Why in god's name would you ever - EVER - throw your door completely WIDE OPEN into traffic?!? I've only got about a foot and a half of room to spare in the first place, and your 3 foot long door suddenly entering my airspace means I have to choose between swerving dangerously close to the car in the left-hand lane or risk leaving a good chunk of my paint on yours, either of which could result in any number of catastrophic outcomes.

So please, idiot person in your parked car, the next time you're about to fling open your door into the middle of crazy L.A.-style traffic, stop and think a moment about the fact that you could seriously harm someone...and the fact that I've vowed to take your hand off with my side-view mirror the next time it happens.

Sorry - I guess I just didn't see you there! Sucks that you can't drive anymore, what with your one-hand and all. (And to the rest of the human race....you're welcome.)